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Solo living has become a significant trend all over the world over the past few decades. It is especially common in large cities or towns in developed countries. More and more people choose to live alone as modern work patterns and financial independence enable them to choose the lifestyle they want. When moving to a new country, your circumstances might mean you are making the move alone. If you are moving to, or if you have already been living in Saudi Arabia, you may feel unsettled at the beginning.
This is because the way of life there differs from many countries — there are no pubs or clubs in Saudi Arabia as alcohol is prohibited in the country. There are also no cinemas.
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Long forbidden, dating has arrived in the ultra-conservative Gulf kingdom with some Saudis meeting and marrying without the help of relatives. Well-heeled millennials meet via Tinder, Snapchat, Twitter and Instagram. The pair finally met in person in Egypt, where gender mixing is more accepted than in Saudi Arabia, long dominated by a puritanical form of Islam that has been challenged recently by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s push toward a more moderate interpretation of the religion.
Because sex and romantic love remain highly controversial subjects in the kingdom, interviewees spoke to NBC News on condition of anonymity, and pseudonyms have been used. While there have been noticeable social changes recently, men and women who are not closely related still traditionally don’t mix, and some avoid even looking at an unrelated person of the opposite sex.
Girls and boys are educated separately, and workplaces that employ women are nominally segregated. So meeting, dating and getting married can be a treacherous obstacle course. Secrecy is the norm, particularly when it comes to sex. Lulwa, 27, bridles at a deep-seated sexism in Saudi society that she says reduces women to their reproductive functions, even among some members of her liberal circle in which the genders mix and alcohol is sometimes served at parties.
It is both a blessing and curse that Lulwa is not searching for a partner in her native Riyadh. But the relationship has no future unless Lulwa leaves her country, or he proposes marriage and converts to Islam. Fadila, 29, an accountant, has been looking for love in all the wrong places since she was a teenager. Early on, her beguiling smile had boys asking for her telephone number. Fadila sometimes complied, but often gave a wrong number to prevent gossip.
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Dating in Saudi Arabia, aside from being logistically impossible (public spaces are divided into bachelors and family-only zones), is illegal. But then again, most.
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These signifiers are products of the last ten years, smartphones and virtual social networking, and cultural icons like Bob Marley and Kim Kardashian. But in Saudi Arabia, an isolated Wahhabist paradise — and the largest and wealthiest country in the Middle East — these abbreviative signs are handy rhetorical devices for tapping into an unrestrained subculture while under the seemingly inescapable gaze of government censors.
But then again, most products of modern life, particularly American culture, are. In the modern nation-state — be it liberal or Wahhabist — law-making is myth-making, and legal jargon, enforced by lashes and the death penalty, is fodder for the Saudi government, whose interests lie in maintaining the integrity and validity of the national imaginary. The instantiation of a national legal code supposedly creates and conscripts a legally sanctioned citizen, one that fits nicely within the Wahhabist doctrine of the Kingdom.
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Pursuing relationships outside of marriage in the kingdom once amounted to a death wish and selling red roses was like selling drugs. Now a sweeping liberalization drive allowed gender mixing has made it easier for young couples to meet in cafes and restaurants. Pre-marital relationships remain a cultural minefield.
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Saudi Arabia’s conservative society bans a lot of things and a relationship before marriage is one of them. Though the fear of getting punished exists, young people in the Kingdom are defying it to live a life they want. Dating is laying roots in the Kingdom and couples are often spotted in public together. Until recently, Valentine’s Day and anything related to it, including gifts and red roses, were frowned upon. A young filmmaker likened selling roses to selling drugs. But there has been a shift, he informed AFP.
Dating in Saudi Arabia. The first and most important thing that expats need to know is that Saudis do not date. Once it is time for a person to get married.
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